Over the years, I’ve answered over 120 user-submitted questions. Most of these questions boil down to “How do I do X in a wheelchair?”

And I’m getting sick of ’em. Not because I don’t want to help wheelchair users be more independent, but because the answer never changes.

And I say that because it’s better than me just sarcastically responding with “I dunno, how do you do X in a wheelchair?” I don’t know what your limits are, or what kind of wheelchair you have. I don’t know anything about you and, frankly, half the people who submit questions write like they’re drunk, their phone’s keyboard is broken, and they’re unbelievably shy. Seriously, the number of times I’ve asked people to provide more detail only to get two half-sentences and an “lol” makes me want to throw my computer across the room. I’d be less upset if the question was clearly written by ChatGPT. At least then there’d be enough details between all the “it’s not just my laundry, it’s my life” slop to actually answer the damn question.

So here’s the one true answer to “How do I do X in a wheelchair?” You have to fucking practice.

Struggling to get in and out of your car? Great, practice getting in and out of your car when you don’t need to go anywhere until you’ve got it nailed down.

Having a hard time putting your shoes on and off? Take your shoes on and off repeatedly until you can do it without thinking.

If you’re new to using a wheelchair and struggling with day-to-day tasks, it’s because you refuse to keep trying until you get it right. Instead, you wait until you need to do something—run errands, get dressed, etc.—and then struggle. This makes you want to do those tasks even less and your quality of life suffers. It’s the same problem I see with part time wheelchair users struggling to use their chair in public: their refusal to practice makes their very public struggles everyone else’s problem.

And before anybody gets all pissy and thinks that I’m not willing to answer these kinds of questions or offer advice, let me be clear: I’m happy to help where I can. But there’s a difference between teaching someone how to move confidently vs how to navigate their house and move their laundry into their washer and dryer.

I might have a few tips but I have no fucking clue how to actually help you.

You’re just gonna have to fucking practice.

And for fuck’s sake, if you’re gonna send me a question, provide details and use full fucking sentences.