Is It Appropriate to Point Out Internalized Ableism?

I think so. Just don’t conflate “internalized ableism” with “struggling to come to terms with their disability”. One can definitely affect the other, but they are two very distinct problems. If your family member is thinking “I’m worthless because I have to use a wheelchair.“, that’s internalized ableism. If they’re thinking “My life has been drastically altered because of my disability and that upsets me.”, that’s a mental health/quality of life issue. When you go to talk to your relative, you need to keep in mind that both issues are going to require separate attention and solutions.