Cerebral Palsy Is

Published: Aug 03, 2018

I’ll admit that this one is a little shower-thought-y, but I still felt like sharing it.

Cerebral Palsy is having your legs be tired after pushing up a hill.

Cerebral Palsy is a rebellion of the extremities.

Cerebral Palsy is heavy breathing to keep your voice from going from “angry” to “constipated”.

Cerebral Palsy is your voice.

Cerebral Palsy is having people constantly apologizing for startling you.

Cerebral Palsy is people startling you on purpose.

Cerebral Palsy is a bully.

Cerebral Palsy is like surviving a shotgun blast to the brain: everyone’s scatter pattern is different but we’re all pretty much fucked.

Cerebral Palsy is way too broad.

Cerebral Palsy makes counting your damaged limbs sound like a D&D dice.

…that you rolled a 1 on.

Cerebral Palsy is having your knees buckle because you looked up at a tall building…while sitting in your wheelchair.

Cerebral Palsy is knowing how to skip the syllables your face won’t let you make.

Cerebral Palsy is knowing when to plug your ears during the movie so you don't spill your popcorn.

Cerebral Palsy is finding jump scares in a romantic comedy.

Cerebral Palsy is wanting to ban the rap horn.

Cerebral Palsy celebrating 30.

Cerebral Palsy is coughing with your whole body.

Cerebral Palsy is smashing your knees into your desk when you sneeze.

Cerebral Palsy is subtle.

Cerebral Palsy is being told you only have 24 hours.

Cerebral Palsy is ruthless.

Cerebral Palsy is wondering if you’ll live to see 50.

Cerebral Palsy is your gait.

Cerebral Palsy is your one good hand.

Cerebral Palsy is wanting to murder the guy who laughs too loud.

Cerebral Palsy is being strapped to a car battery that shocks you without warning.

Cerebral Palsy is sensitive feet.