Did I Do Enough?

When I look at the things this administration has done to dismantle, damage, or mock the needs of the disabled I am genuinely shocked that some of my friends and family actually voted for it.

They know me and the struggles I’ve gone through to achieve equality and how hard I’ve fought to get to where I am and they still chose this.

They chose an administration that is actively trying to harm the rights of their friend; their grandson; their nephew; They took one look at the man behind the podium mocking a disabled reporter and, instead of screaming Hey, that’s my friend you’re making fun of! they cheered  That’s my guy!

Despite all the time we’d spent together.

Despite sharing in my frustration about a lack of equal access at the places we liked to hang out. 

Despite everything I thought was meaningful between us, they chose the side that is actively trying to tear down everything I’ve built.

And now I wonder: Did I do enough? Was there something I could have done or said that would have changed their mind? Could I have in some way prevented this? Maybe not the outcome, but could I have at least changed their decision?

Was I not representative enough?

Was I not positive enough?

Could I have smiled more, been more independent, or a better embodiment of the bootstrap pulling they admire so much?

What would have been enough?

Will it ever be enough?

Because I’m starting to think that no amount of positivity from me will ever overcome their biases towards people like me.