How Do I Deal With Friends Inviting Me To Inaccessible Places?

Apr 06, 2019

Anonymous asks, quote:

I’ve been using a wheelchair for over 22 years. One of the things I still wrestle with is friends inviting me to inaccessible restaurants, etc. I have found my own way of handling it, but what advice would you give to guys/people trying acclimate to social life?

end quote.

Your friends keep inviting you out to inaccessible places? Cool. Ditch those friends and get new ones whose heads aren’t so deeply entrenched in their own asses.

Seriously, how many awkward outings do you have to tolerate before you realize that your friends don’t care about you enough to do a little research before going to a new place? The same research you have to do when you go anywhere. And let me guess, when you arrive at said inaccessible locale they act all kinds of shocked and surprised: “gasp!” they say, “I thought we had the ADA! I just assumed it as accessible like everywhere else.” and they expect you to comfort them.

There’s a chance that you can educate your friends about what they’re doing and what needs to change, but that’s a lot of emotional labor. It’s totally reasonable to not want to do that.

And let me be clear here: your friends are gonna fuck up. They’re going to want to check out a new place with you the first time and there’s a good chance that one of those hip new places isn’t going to be accessible. And that’s fine. Neither of you knew. It’s when your friends keep inviting you to their favorite hangouts without first taking a note of the accessibility that’s an issue.