Urban Cripple

Is My Disability Defining My Sexuality?

Jul 06, 2018

I’m a demisexual girl with CP and I am conflicted about something. Sometimes I worry that the only reason I identify as ace is my lack of body confidence, or that I’m perpetuating the desexualization of disabled people in general by identifying as on the ace‐spectrum, even if I rarely experience sexual attraction. Are my worries unfounded?

This question is complex and I don’t entirely feel qualified to answer it. I’m a cis, straight white dude with cerebral palsy. While I do know what it’s like to define my body image and sexuality as it relates to being disabled, I am in no way capable of understanding what it means to define those things as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community.

That being said, my answer to your question is this: I’m not sure. But, anybody who tells you that you can’t be demi or ace because you’re in a chair can go fuck themselves. I don’t think that sexuality and disability are directly linked to one another: disabled people fall all over the spectrum regardless of what kind of disability they happen to have.

Ultimately, sexuality is a spectrum that people move around on throughout their entire lives. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to define what your sexuality is and what it means to you.